rear-ended grrrr

so, my car, Whiskers, is all jacked up, and i'm sad because i love that car and they don't make them anymore so if they total it i have to get something else, but if they fix it, it won't be the same zippy car it used to be, i'm sure.

it happened tuesday after work. i was stopped in the usual stopped traffic from w-b page to s-b 270 (whoever designed that on/off ramp is a GENIUS!). the guy behind me decided not to stop, and now the entire back of my car is smashed in, one taillight is gone (vaporized!) and the front driver's side is smashed in too, because i was pushed into the car in front of me, which suffered minor bumper scratches. oh, and a piece of something went rolling away down page, then was hit by a car and bounced to the other side of the median.

i had hella pain, cause i braced when i saw him in the rearview. my head bounced like a crash-test dummy and i smacked the back of it against the headrest. my doctor says i seem to be ok, just sore, but took x-rays just in case.

i've finally talked to the guy's insurance, and they will accept liability as soon as they talk to the driver who was in front of me. which is good, because rental cars are expensive, as will be fixing my car/buying a new car.

if they do total it, i'm going to buy a tank.

take me down to the paradise city*

the mj morning show is in reruns this week, because the whole show is on vacation (lucky ducks – i wish i could take a weeklong vacation, and just air reruns of my job). on the show they played this morning, the gang was reading a list of the worst songs of the 90’s. some i had to agree with (macarena and mambo number five, for example), but on a couple I was all "nuh-uh!" like how bizarre (you know you love it!), and november rain.

november rain? wha?

november rain, had, like, the coolest video in 1991. in fact, the use your illusion duo produced cool video after cool video that summer! They even gave a shout out to the old STL in the liner notes (although it wasn’t very nice - remember that fateful day at the brand new Riverport?)

Eer-ree-gahd-less, November Rain will always hold a special place in my heart, not so much from STL 1991, but Berlin 2000. I spent four weeks that summer in Germany, and one weekend some friends and I ventured to the capital. Late one night we were returning back to the hostel after partying it up, and heard a strange sound as we climbed the stairs to the S-bahn platform. At the top we discovered a 40-something German guy, all eighties-ed out, maybe homeless, on a bench. Next to him? A straight-up boombox, blasting November Rain. And, after the ballady part, when it starts to rock, this guy started headbanging.

They should have a guy like that at every train station.

(*the lyrics to november rain are hella depressing, so i titled the blog something happier, cause this is happy story)

summer summer summer time, time to relax and unwind

hi friends

my birthday is 1) in the summer and 2) on a saturday this year. since i didn't get it together to go camping at all last year, i thought i would plant the seed during this dark depth of winter and let y'all know that WE WILL CAMP AND FLOAT FOR MY 28TH BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR, JULY 12, 2008. clear your schedules now!

pool-river-pool. word. tilt this earth and bring me back some SUMMER!

plus, soon after that my biological clock may finally get the best of me, and who knows what could happen. crazy chemicals.

my heart's crammed in my cranium

i have had a headache since friday.

i take stuff and it takes the edge off, but it never goes away.

i've had to cancel/say no to at least one thing each day since then, because i'm in pain and crabby. it better go away, cause there's a lot going on this weekend that mustn't be missed. and next week. grrrrrrr.

this = me venting

you = feeling sorry for shauna and her dumb head

i have a doctor's appointment for jan 7 for a physical, but hopefully it will be gone by then! why is it so impossible to get a doctor's appointment? if this headache is a sign of something serious, i'm gonna be sooooo pissed.

thank you.

it's LOG!

or Shauna's Still a Kid Even After Going Corporate

Tuesday 2 of my bosses were in town, and informed me we would be going to dinner with one of the managers of the client I work onsite for (for whom I work onsite? yuck!)

During the dinner, one of bosses and the manager's husband found they are both fans of pachinko machines. The manager's husband's father had brought one back from Japan during WWII, and he figures it's worth some cash being that, and this is a direct quote:

"it's big, it's heavy, it's wood"

I looked around to see if any of the other 3 people at the table had caught that. They hadn't, which I attribute to the fact that I was the youngest person present, and the next youngest person was 10 years my senior. Therefore, I worked hard to suppress the laughter.

But you'll laugh with me, right?

siempre olvido

always forget...

robert goulet is in beetlejuice. he was really funny on howard stern once, and i love him. right on.

come sail away

i love the lake. i love the lake in autumn, when i get to go on a boat. saturday, there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

the people we stayed with have a house on a cove. the cove is like melrose place, only with a lake instead of a pool, and rednecks instead of californians. also, everyone is older than the people were on mr (i think). we were serenaded by nickelback sing-alongs from the second tier.

it was sad to leave, but a beautiful drive back to the interstate. i'm starting to know my way around that area. daren is ready to buy a lake house. we're hoping to have one by next summer (BIG hope). then we'll need a boat, of course. pontoon or ski boat?

i'll post some pix when lacey gets hers developed. my camera is still m.i.a.

these thoughts keep me going on cold gray st louis autumn day, when it feels like it's nighttime out when i'm in my office.

hacienda happy hour today. i don't think we'll sit outside- brrrrr!

fourteen songs that never get old

in the spirit of updatable blogs.....

hey ya! - outkast (2003) &/or 7 shot screamers live

laid - james (1993) (really, the whole album)

the joker - steve miller band (1973) (hey, me and thousands of frat boys can't be wrong, right?)

dirty epic - underworld (1994) (i always say if i had to choose only one "track" to hear from now on, it would be this one)

rest assured - lemonheads (1993)

mai qui est la belette? - manau (1998) (lorrie's contour the summer we met daren. oh, and craig too)

down with disease - phish (1994) (their biggest commercial hit evokes memories of tammy visiting me in chicago)

6 underground - sneaker pimps (1997)

b.o.b. - outkast (2000) (cruising the strip in gulf shores w/my sissy)

snake farm - ray wylie hubbard (2006) (kdhx played this & made daren and me laugh when we needed it. funniest lyrics EVER!)

hot like a sauna - tricky (1999)

fool's gold - the stone roses (1989) (THE ultimate i'm-chill-&-so-tough song)

flash light - parliament (1977) (THE ultimate party time song. PARTY!)

baba o'riley - the who (1971) (long ago, at someone's house late at night, holly & i had a blast dancing to this song. i don't think we were teenagers anymore though)

it's a matter of tact

some ramblings (durka durka worka worka).....my blog, so it's all about ME!


oh, my god, do i hear a baby crying in the office? can i bring my cat to work tomorrow?



this weekend, my significant other came out to a few bars with me, as he so rarely does. At one of the venues with one of the crowds, he pointed out something that i've been noticing for years, but was unsure if it was just me, or real, or what.

"how come you're not in the picture?" is it true?

all of my friends are picture takin' fools, god love 'em. sometimes, i'm in the mood to take a ton (can we say "craig schuster opens for leon russell"? seriously, i think i averaged about 50 shots a minute) and am not always mindful if i've included everyone. who's got time to think about that, when there is such a good time to be documented?

one friend, however, seems to avoid including me in the frame. not sure if it's conscious, subconscious, or unconscious, but i'm pretty sure, given the issue's frequency, that it's some sort of conscious.

now, i could think "hey, who does that joker think s/he is? does s/he think i'm ugly or something?" especially when they visibly roll their eyes when someone asks me to get in. i could have developed a real complex about this after all this time.

BUT - they can think what they want, because what i've learned is that i look pretty awful in most of the photos this person takes of me. someone else can include me and i look all superstar & fun times, and in a photo this person takes at the same event, i look like i weigh about 300 pounds and am half dead. "i am smelling like a rose that somebody gave me cause i'm dead and bloated!" ew, how does stp keep creeping in to everything i do lately?

a strange phenomenon to be sure. no ending to that really. it's getting rather difficult to keep things anonymous. moving on to....



.....A NEW CAR!!!!!

felix will be retired this friday (as in, not working, as opposed to getting new tires). the dealer offered me a $400 trade in, if that paints a picture of my need for a new car. i can't wait, i can't wait, i can't wait. i'm going to drive and drive in my new black shiny scion xA - i'm thinking of naming it felicia, since i've decided she's a girl and can be felix's namesake. the promise of a new car has done wonders for my self-esteem.

88 days until i'm hitched. anybody feel like dancing?

frühling!!!!

it's spring now! i wore a skirt today! it's supposed to storm this week! after a topsy turvy winter, spring will surely bring some calm, and maybe, just maybe, i'll get to go out and see my friends more, since i'm FINALLY getting the hang of my new (demanding) job!
love you all!!!

Fat Bottomed Grrl

I have been running for about a month now...

(I actually started in September, but have only had a semi-regular workout routine for the past month at my new gym with the AWESOME treadmills with BUILT-IN TVS!)

...and although the magazine that was my inspiration for running said "many women enjoy running's leg-slimming effects" or some such nonsense, my legs are BIGGER! I don't know if my thighs have ever been larger, and they've always been the bane of my physical-self-image.

On the bright side, I've noticed that my legs are MUCH tighter (no more jiggle!), but some of my pants are getting tight. The only changes are 1) I run 1.5 - 3 miles 3 times a week, and 2) I don't do as much weight-training as I have in the past. I have the same eating habits (admittedly bad). I have also started wean myself off of my anti-depressants, as it was brought to my attention that I've been packing on some pounds since I started taking them.

GUH! It's frustrating.

But I really do like running - the endorphin rush, and the feeling that I'm repairing my lungs from the damage I did to them in my capricious youth.

always rough

the first birthday after. it's rough, i can't tell ya. he would've been 23 today. i don't even remember me at 23. i can't go visit cause i have a midterm, but i'm sure he understands.

"goddam, what a bummer." --- Dr. Gonzo

strange dream (i want to figure out/remember)

these are parts of a dream that kept going last night, most likely not in order. i think i woke up once or twice among them.

- i was trying to get in touch with Riley. i either had to tell him something, or needed information from him. at one part, i was at the house i grew up in, in the bathroom, and saw his face emerge from the closed door. i figured out that i could only see him in that bathroom, and only sometimes. i don't remember what we talked about.

- sometimes the person who had passed that i wanted to talk to was Daren instead of Riley. it got all muddled like dreams do. in the dream i told my mom something to the effect of "i told Daren i thought he was going to die" (don't like that part - gives me chills)

- i kept trying to get ahold of Mike on my mobile, because he had the phone number/some kind of connection to someone that could help me. that someone was a country singer who wore black. one his names began with r (i keep thinking Rascal Flatts or Ray Wiley Hubbard but those don't seem like it. Ray Flatts or Ray Hubbard maybe?)

- there was someone else that i thought could help me too, a girl who looked kind of like one of Jessica's friends in Memphis (Shalice I think). the girl had dark straight hair, freckles, and bright green eyes. she was always with her younger brother. i think he father was famous, possibly a sports broadcaster, because she & her brother seemed to be in a broadcast booth. it was hard to get her attention, because whenever i tried to talk to her, there would be cheers from outside the booth, and she would get distracted.

- the dream went between the house where i grew up and some kind of arena, like the savvis center or whatever it's called now.

the last time i woke up, i felt very disoriented, like the world had changed somehow. that's all i can remember now.

i'll probably add to it as i things come to me. all of this came to me when i looked at Riley's photo on my desk. if anyone has any expertise in the area of dream interpretation, be sure to drop a comment. i tend to think that dream interpretation depends on the dreamer, but i could use some ideas.

Diane Rehm = badass!

***NOTE: Not a political post, so much as an opinion on class, or lack thereof.

I've been listening to Diane Rehm's morning show on NPR occasionally for about 2 years. I forget who was on that first show I listened to, but when I heard this 70-ish-year-old woman with her grandmotherly voice go off on a pompous male 40-something author, with whom she happened to disagree, I was hooked.

Today, Diane addressed Rush Limbaugh's reprehensible accusations that Michael J Fox (ahem, known Parkinson's sufferer) was "off his medication or acting" in his campaign ads supporting Senate candidate Claire McCaskill (oh yeah, and stem-cell research).

He claims Fox was exploiting his disease for political gain. Last time I checked, Marty McFly isn't running for office, but could stand to gain scientifically from stem-cell research that could lead to a cure or better treatments for his debilitating condition.

Though Limbaugh "apologized" (I picture his signature sneer while he does so), Diane Rehm told him, via the airwaves "You are to get down on your KNEES, and BEG for his forgiveness." In that voice, man, I would totally hang out with her.

these mean streets

in the spirit of the bad luck exhibited by my last posting, i'm adding a part deux to a "crazy things that happened to me this week" series. i hope this will be the last installment - i don't know how much i can handle!

on my way home from the gym monday, i remembered i had a prescription to pick up at walgreen's, which meant i would make a right onto southwest instead of a left. when the light turned green (no rights on red, I AM LAW ABIDING!), i made my right and felt a large THUNK! against my car.

"what was that?" i wondered, squinting into my rearview mirror. it was raining and hard to see what looked like a yellow piece of plastic flapping in the breeze.

"must be some kind of construction thing," i thought, until i saw A MAN wearing a poncho in the STREET PICKING UP HIS BICYCLE. holy shit!!!!

he seemed OK, but i turned around anyway, yelling out the window "are you ok?" shit shit shit i can't believe i just hit this guy on a bike! this guy who had apparently materialized out of thin air! this is going to be a huge and expensive hassle....

he gave me a thumbs-up. "i'm ok. thanks for stopping. that was my fault." and away he pedaled.

sometimes...me too

"Sometimes I ask myself if we're living in the United States or a State of Denial."
- Jeanne Phillips (Dear Abby)

This was an response to those angry at her for suggesting that a wife who found out her husband had an affair with a man years ago get checked for STDs. They said Abby was only saying that because it was a homosexual affair.

Abby said, no, it's because STDs suck! (my words, but you get the point).

festive bandage art

festive bandage art
Originally uploaded by aries rising.

i cut my finger BAD yesterday morning. i won't say the real way it happened, which is hella lame. the story i've been telling is slightly less lame, which is that i was carrying glasses from the living room to the kitchen. i was holding them tightly together and one busted.

the rest is true: in the nanosecond between the glass breaking and my seeing the damage, i looked back at my finger and it was covered in blood!!! the bright red gushing kind. i screamed, then daren came to my rescue, gathering supplies while i held my finger under the tap. he got me all sorted out. it still hurts a little.

i made it a ghosty face to be festive for halloween. that way, no one can bug me when i don't dress up again this year.

ode to lunadoll

i sang this song after i hung up the phone with my seester. it might be a little different because it took FOREVER for my computer to boot up.
ahem.

"i love my sisterrrr, she is so greaaaat.
i love my sisterrrrr, she is so chill.
except for sometimes, and then it's funny."

ps. i wish i had a copy of "the heat is on" to listen to, cause i'm about to watch the cardinals kick some pond scum ass. see ya!

no more summer in the city i.e. Tha Lou

it's happened. it's officially fall/autumn (i always write fall, because it takes me about ten tries to spell autumn right).

at lunch today i was running some errands, and the trees around the 270/44 area are POPPIN'! and the weather today was gorgeous, so i took the long way back to work, along the backroads and through the woods.

the wedding is coming along well, and i just found out that two of the most wonderfullest friendzies in the world are getting marriedzies! all because of imitation crab meat, or something. seriously, though, it's the greatest thing ever. i called earlier to ask jessica if she would be in my wedding, then later craig called and gave me the news. then he let me talk to jessica and now i have this bridesmaid thing sussed out AND lacey and i found dresses for them yesterday so THIS EVENING WAS A HAPPY ONE!

plus, the cardinals won! 2-0, bay-beeeeeeee!!

a spot of luck (just a spot)

Yesterday before class while I was sitting in the lounge, I heard a voice say, "Ashley!" then "Ashley!" again, a little more insistently. "Excuse me." I looked up. "Ashley?"

"No..."

"I'm sorry, you look exactly like a lady I had a class with."

"No, I'm not Ashley."

"Well, sorry. You look exactly like her, though"

The punchline is that she did have a class with me once, the class that made me switch my major. She was possibly the most vile woman I've ever had the misfortune to have a class with. I was even in her group that term!

A friend in that class had warned me about her when she saw I had been placed in vile's group. She had tried to rip my friend off on some photos my friend had taken for her, then complained about her to the dean the next time they had a class together. After spending time with the woman, I could totally see that happening.

Lucky for me, I'm not Ashley.